I have (same acronym) but Bi-Polar Disorder I. Stigma, stigma, stigma!!! Throughout history, many of our most creative artists had mental illness. It’s so misunderstood. “Why don’t you just not be depressed?” – “why don’t you just go to sleep!” Don’t be manic. Freak. 

I’m medicated and in therapy and also a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. The mental illness and substance abuse are absolutely related. 

I got into therapy because a sponsee called me drunk and with a shotgun. I told him to go to C.A.P.S. 

  which is UH’s psychiatric help deal. FREE to students. Because I told him to go, it saved his life. I found out it was free and started going myself. It the saved my life. I was 3 yrs sober at the time but waking up every day thinking “I want to die” upon awakening. I got into therapy. I got on Meds. I leveled out. I met me therapist, Dr. Santhi. still see her regularly (8 years later)

In 2010, I got primary custody of My daughter, started my doctorate, began a demanding, good-paying church job, and got engaged to be married and also married. The mania that I had experiencing at 16 restarted. Badly. VERY badly. Rage. Throwing shit. Almost relapsed. Got on a medicine (because I’d switched doctors) that almost killed me. Seroquel. 


Thankfully, I got off that shit. Changed back to Dr. Lee. Got on lithium and Abilify then slowly added bupropion. And now, years after that, I’m better than I’ve ever been. 

Fuck stigma. Fuck people that don’t try and understand mental illness. 

Depression is not a choice and SUICIDE IS NOT SELFISH.